There was an error in this gadget

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Watikah hari ini adalah...

I have been through the most sluggish as hell mood this month, for this entire week. Eh ok. Engkorang paham ke bila hakak hakunamatata ko ni speaking? Teruk pulak bunyiknya. Like condescending. Dah takpelah. Korang anggap je la ni lawak yang tak jadi sebab my mood masih haywire.

Semalam agaklah mood aku yang paling terbalik. Tapi masih boleh senyum but jap-jap meleleh je mata bocor. Apa kisah dengan mata bocor aku ni? Kalau boleh aku nak bocorkan secara terus kasi kering je terus apa yang terpaut dalam emosi ni. Tapi aku ni jenis yang tabah (huwek) dan agak koreh hati, jadi maklumkan je lah cuma mampu nak nangis bila tengok show orang beranak, families reunited, stories on humanity. Cam lama nau proses tu nak sampai. 

Dalam perasaan berbaur foggy kegelapan dan stalagmite, rezeki aku dapat tetiba bercakap dengan 3 orang manusia. 3 orang kau. Pejadah sampai 3 orang baru nak settle perasaan ni. Jadahnya adalah... my personality is quite complex that the dimensions vary more than other people. Ni bukan aku angkat bakul sendiri ya. In fact, it was a blessing that I learnt yang ramai lain has my personality and it's okay to be different, because I am. 




Baik, diteruskan... bila dah balik malam, semasa berada dibawah pancuran air, seperti biasa barulah aku tersedar. Dah berapa hari dah la aku termiss ubat darah tinggi ni... sebab the ubat is not in my handbag macam biasa and I keep forgetting to put it in each time bila balik dari opis. 

Hmm. Baiklah. Jap lagi nak kena topup la ubat tu pun. Buat je la pengakuan berani kat doctor tu that I haven't been compliant sebab aku tukar handbag and the ubat is on my dresser every day. Cuma tak ingat dari hari apa aku tak makan ubat.

Isk. Apa nak jadi. Korang doakan je lah semoga aku dipermudahkan ingatan. And semoga doa korang tu akan dikembalikan kepada korang sendiri dengan begitu sejahteranya.



Thursday, March 16, 2017

16 March 2017

Watikah hari ini adalah...

I went to Shasha's funeral today. This lovely woman who was loved and celebrated, then lost to cervical cancer. Tersentuh jiwa bila tengok ramainya orang yang hadir, just for her. Ramai yang terus bersusun di saf untuk dia. It clearly shows how she relates to people. Always smiling. And with constant patience, the love, care and attention her husband showed without even showing. 

Dear Shasha, 
rest now, for you have lived.

Dear Pyah, 
I wish I could hug and comfort you, even though we rarely speak, or meet. Remember that, no sacrifice is greater than what you can carry. Please have comfort, wallow, be upset, cry and accept to forgive and move on. You have done the best that you could. And do learn to live the life that you have. 

I have nothing more to say.
I'm just sad.
For love and loss.


Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Hi

Watikah hari ini adalah...

Mak tak bitchy dan agak stabil hari ni.
Tu je nak gitau.

Kbai.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails