Thursday, 9 July 2020

The Journey to Korea


Watikah hari ini adalah...

Begitu lama sudahkah I haven't been writing? Actually, tak juga. Last post at another blog was last week kot tak silap. Ya, another blog; or other blogs. Mak ada banyak anonymous blogs. 

Sekarang ni Mak sangat menyelam dalam lautan Korea yang dalam. Dunia Mak itu je. Dah takde interest nak tengok citer omputeh. Takde nak dengar radio. Takde nak Google search Bradley Cooper ke, Travis Fimmel ke or anything on Vikings cast. 

Ada la yang dari dulu suruh tengok Goblin. I was like, "Aaah tak nak terbabit la dengan cerita Korea. Apecerrr sangat..." Then MCO happened, Crash Landing on You (CLOY) was trending, and I had nothing else to watch. So that was the last post, pasal CLOY. Tapi apa yang berlaku setelah itu adalah memeranjatkan diri Aunty sendiri.

The discovery of Itaewon Class

Itaewon Class 


Cerita ni yang membabitkan emosi yang sangat dalam. Saya sangat faham emosi Park Seoroyi and his diligence. Dengan cerita ni la yang membuka mata hati untuk tengok past works Park Seo Joon yang membuka ruang kepada K-Drama secara besar-besaran. 

The whole time watching through Itaewon Class, I was telling myself, "I think he'd (Park Seo Joon) actually be handsome if he smiles," sebab most of the story, you rarely nampak muka dia terbit senyum jenis yang dari hati saya yang turut tersenyum. 

The constant poker face on Park Seoroyi's face throughout the drama.

Park Seo Joon's a methodical actor. I sangat appreciate the little things dia add into the character. And I read yang he's an INFJ in real life, where the character Park Seoroyi, is also an INFJ by observation. This means to me, he's a really good actor. Especially bila kehidupan dia sebagai seorang pelakon, public figure, celebrity, sebenarnya kena adapt dengan pulic demand terutamanya di Korea dengan fan meetings, media conferences etc and more challenging feedback environment from the fans and public in his country. 

So, awak tak faham mengapa since MBTI INFJ diri dia dengan the character is same, it becomes more challenging and difficult? Shouldn't it be easier sebab same-same? No, not easier.

Here's why:

For an introvert, it is easier to pretend to become someone else than to become your truest self on screen. 

Emosi INFJ carry a lot of weight. Introverts, emotional absorbers, counselors, healers. Kerap kena duduk dendiam by yourself to recharge your social aptness. Yang boleh bantu selesaikan masalah, tapi tak boleh nak nampak kebolehan diri sendiri. The mind is full of theories, people's feelings, unicorns dancing in moonlight.



To be out of character in the public, you kena ubah the weight of your own emotions yang mana ia adalah sangat memenatkan and draining. Maksudnya, Park Seo Joon has changed himself to become an ultra positive INFJ dan dah adapt sikit other personality orang lain yang positive in his daily routine to become a better person that he is now. His introvertness remains the same. 

So, Park Seoroyi's character is true to himself when quiet. Tapi Park Seo Joon as an actor, has grown internally 10-20 years forward. Playing this character means he has to go back emotionally to where he was at 10-20 years ago, back to ZERO. Being back to the base, can literally suck you back in to when you were still struggling nak kenal, accept diri sendiri. I suppose, daily struggle to separate who I was (comfort zone), with who I've become.



In short, it must have been really hard to be in character for 6-7 bulan. Dia pun sendiri kata, although he has been brought back into that intensity, dia dapat lihat semula prinsip, social awareness, dan mungkin boleh luruskan lagi pendirian, kepercayaan dirinya. Walau bagaimanapun, dia kena terus mencuba untuk separate Park Seoroyi with himself, just because. Yes, he's got to go 10-20 years forward again from where he had to be for the character.

It must've been a struggle to be in and out of Park Seoroyi; yang mana I have high respect for his effort, commitment, passion and diligence. Sebab tak semua orang ada passion, ada drive to have all that - it is an achievement. He gets to do what he loves.

From there, I watched Fight with My Way, She was Pretty and What's Wrong with Secretary Kim? 


 
Fight for My Way


She Was Pretty


What's Wrong with Secretary Kim?


Time ni la baru betul nampak his acting dimensions. His comedic timing, his gestures change for each character yang dia main. Betul lah telahan Aunty. Park Seo Joon sendiri kata dia akan create character tu down to the mannerism and hand gestures. And I think he's the best kisser on screen too he he he...

I searched more of his work. I got Midnight Runners on VIU. Sanggup bayar ye. Kah kah kah. Cinta datang tanpa diundang, kan? 

(Nota: Dari movie ni dapat belajar new Korean word - "PALLI PALLI" - CEPAT-CEPAT!) 

Midnight Runners

The Divine Fury


I downloaded The Divine Fury on VIU tapi tak mampu nak tengok sebab jantung Mak tak strong dengan freaky stories. Maafkan je lah Mak ni. Time tu baru tau jugak dia ada play one scene in Parasite. Dia jadi BFF son of parasite family tu. Aaah nangis sebab terperanjat he had a part in Parasite. Tapi terus tak nangis dah bila jumpa link cerita dia Kill Me, Heal Me. I struggled looking for Kill Me, Heal, Me and he basically plays well in all his works lah.

At that point of time, Abang Long sebut, "Mak ni mengecewakan Travis Fimmel sebab asik search Park Seo Joon je". Maafkan je lah saya, Travis Fimmel. You don't be broken okay. I'll just see you later je kah kah kah...

Parasite

Kill Me, Heal Me


I appreciate Park Seo Joon's efforts. If we can get to meet, I oso dono berapa banyak kopi boleh habis just talking. Sembang benda yang kitorang je mampu nak appreciate. Memang habis berangan dah berjumpa. Tapi siapalah saya ni nak dapat jumpa dengan dia. Aunty sedar diri. 


Konsep: Aunty Sedar Diri
SEOUL-SHAH ALAM 4,627KM 
SEOUL-SHAH ALAM-SEOUL 9,254KM
Penjarakan sosial kami adalah begitu baik sekali 
sehingga ia mematahkan hatiku yang rapuh ini.


Dalam pada masa ni, kita teringat seorang kawan ni. Dia tanya, mengapa suka bergaduh bila in deep conversations. Tak, kita tak bergaduh. We are just challenging ourselves in our own theories sebenarnya. INFJ fikir banyak sangat dalam kepala. Tu yang sampai ada bad sleeping pattern - the brain jadi high functioning bila time we're about to get into bed. 



Our thoughts cuma tak berbutir kat bibir je. Dia takde bridge dari THOUGHTS to VERBALISATION. Jambatan tu missing. Ceritanya akan panjang berjela sebab dia kena start from beginning. No such thing as summation of thought (tapi dia boleh pulak summarise kan orang lain, kan hahaha). Sekali bila keluar, dapat at that moment when you get the momentum to speak, semua keluar. Bila fikiran dibutirkan, baru dapat nampak kesahihan teori-teori tu. Faham tak? Even when we speak, tak semorang pun boleh faham apa yang kita cuba ceritakan. It's either too Unicorn Life (macam Lego the Movie) or The Struggle is Real (macam Itaewon Class).



I can only imagine the conversations. Probably talk until we fall asleep and be back in momentum the moment we wake up, still at the coffee table or on the bench in the park. We'd probably be walking and talking more after that. Even the silence would be comfortable. Emotional comfort. Like, someone familiar yang you've known all your life. 

In gratitude, he has done more for me than he will ever know. It would be what I would tell him, if ever. What happened, what he has done, the contributions, the outcome, result and way forward. Cerita tersebut, terus kusimpankannya dalam poket hati ini untuk diloketkan seorang diri.

Pembabitan cerita Korea ni, aku sampai mendengar lagu Korea.  Bermula dari OST K-Drama. Itaewon Class. Kemudian bila search for K-Drama cast members nak expand their other works, BTS videos kept coming out. Ala videos yang play for 1-3 minit tu. I became curious and was mesmerized with watching their relationships and interactions. How they meld into becoming each others' emotional support, bouncing off each other emotionally going through everything. Mujur diorang bertujuh. How strong would you need to be if you were on your own?

You know, in the beginning masa baru bergelumang dengan cerita Korea ni, Abang Long kata, "Mak takde cerita lain ke nak tengok?" "Best SANGAT ke tengok Korea lagi?" "Cerita Korea lagi ke? You got no other story to watch izit?" 

Pastu dia keluarkan ayat ni:  

"Tengok cerita Korea, OK, boleh. Tapi jangan sampai dengar K-Pop" "I marah kalau Mak dengar K-Pop (BTS) sebab itu, tak boleh"

How la. Mentara tu Mak dah mula bergelumang dengan BTS, sampaikan Mak kau tengok videos and dengar lagu BTS senyap-senyap ya... Playlist Korea pun tak berani nak pasang bila dalam kereta dengan dia. Berani pasang bila ada Abang Ngah dengan Cik Adik je hahaha. Mak engkorang ni dah mengapa...

"Mak, I tau you dengar lagu K-Pop"

Eh, I dengar kat lain retis juga la! I listen to Sondia, Kim Feel, Gaho, etc... Tu semua bukan pop. Got different genres. 

"K-Pop jugak tu"

Where got...

Kan terus Mak kau jadi defensive. Kah kah kah.

Forward a few weeks later, I told Abang Ngah dengan Cik Adik. "Mak suka tengok the relationship dimensions within BTS ni. And their performances juga." Diorang pun angguk je. Kadang diorang join je tengok the short videos, mungkin sekadar nak sedapkan hati Mak diorang ni je memandangkan Abang Long dah cakap macam tu. But then again, yang Mak korang ni nak ambik hati sangat dengan dia tu pun dah mengapa? Mungkin sebab Papa pun ada persoalan yang sama. Kah kah kah. Malu dengan diri sendiri, simpan dalam poket jiwa dalam-dalam ya.

I continue to enjoy my private time on my own. Ada je kadang Abang Long menyapa, "Best ke Makkkk... dengar lagu Koreaaa... youuuu..." "Best ke layan Korea ni, cerita baru ke?"

Tapi Mak dia terperanjat sikit bila baru ni Abang Long cakap:

"Mak, I tau you suka BTS. I jumpa you search BTS lah, Jin la, Kim Seok Jin la". Kah kah kah. Simpan muka, telinga, leher, tengkuk, dada merah padam tu dalam baju. Mak tak jawab. Mak jalan je. Mak kau convinced yang mesti adik-adik dah beritahu abang diorang. Kah kah kah...

"I tau Mak suka BTS"

Adeh...



Ya, Mak suka...

Mak pun suka juga Gaho. Sebab suara dia sedap dan dia pandai nyanyi. I think dia artist bawah Chris Lyon yang berlakon jadi Tony dalam Itaewon Class. I also suka suara Lee Seung Gi, Yook Sung Jae. 

Gaho


Lee Seung Gi


Yook Sung Jae


Okay, this is a seriously long and lengthy and thoughtful and a lot, a lot, a lot over information and sharing of knowledge for whatever reason. Most of all, it has been a fun post to write about. And I absolutely did this for me.

Thank you to myself! LOL.

*Bakul Mana Bakul??*







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The Journey to Korea