I was tellling my INTJ pagi kelmarin -- "I'm going to pause my writing." And she went, "WHAT? WHY??"
Ya, tetiba I felt like I needed a break. Suddenly got OCD pulak kick in. OCD to tie back the current and the previous ones. That's why maybe I tak publish the remaining chapters in WWM Book 1, walaupun the story dah progress jauh dah. Sangat jauh. Tapi nak tengok balik pun tak kuasa. Mood hancusss.
However tetiba kelmarin juga ni -- malam. I just sat down and had my brain running. Came out 4 new chapters. Total diversion of what yang boleh dikategorikan as rubbish sebab emo time tulis tu. Paksa lagi menulis time DAY OFF. Tapi 4 chapters rubbish tu, I will keep to carry on into a possible transfer into suitable parts in the series. Never waste your ideas.
Kadang time DAY OFF ni la yang either you get something good, ataupun sesuatu yang tidak-tidak (believe me, it was sooooo tidak...). So that was a really down time for me. Crying for hours. Period kot. Ha ha. Hati orang pun susah nak baca, ni kan pulak hati sendiri. Made me circle around feeling menahi.
Well, as at 8 Dec 2020, I'm on the 5th one. So WWM has 5 books now. Pekejadah sampai 5 buku ni? But that means I managed to write 4 books in one month. CS & OHT took me 1 month each book = 2,ooo words/chapter in 26 chapters. WWM is 1,000 words/chapter in 42 chapters per book.
Don't ask me how I do it. I cannot explain. Although I can manage a chapter done within 30-60 minutes at any given time.
Tapi, it's not always macam tu. But that is also how it can go 8 chapters in one day. I don't want to jinx it though. Sekali bila keluar, it keeps going. Ada jugak time dia stuck -- tak mencapai target jumlah perkataan per chapter. So move on je lah to next chapter. Ada jugak hari yang langsung tak berbunyi kecuali deruan air di pantai terus ke laut.
Chapter 1 of Book 5 is still in progress. I took time layan YouTube. Sambil dengar lagu.
Teringat for the first one I published on Wattpad. Ada lagu yang stuck in my brain. Pada hal cerita tu dah considered done. It bothered me for 2-3 days sebab the message was just stuck. Pain. So that itself became extra chapters in the middle of the book. Baffling lah jugak kalau diikutkan. But camni lah.
I ni pun takde benda lain nak cerita. Malas nak komen pasal orang dah kot. Kalau ada yang bercerita pun I'd go, "I don't need to hear this tahi." And I say it. Gelak pulak diorang. Kejujuran adalah asas jenaka kot. Yeah lah. Go make me stress for what?? Ha ha. Benda yang aku pun tak nak turut terbabit. Kang Mak emo, habis satu rumah rabak.
But then again, a few days ago pun I had to deal with some people jugak. Same thing, "I don't really need to deal with this tahi." Tapi kena jugak. Cuma... Tengah tak kuasa kot. Ataupun nampak sangat rantaian aku dengan manusia sekarang adalah sangat terhad jadi tak begitu terbina momentum untuk ia melarat. Either that or I have a great working team. Apa-apa pun, biarlah ia menjadi misteri.
I'd rather be driven by other things. But then again, maybe I need exposure semula. Nak kena baca balik Jodi Picoult, Amy Tan. Ada jugak beli buku Jodi Picoult. Dah sepuluh tahun kot berdebu masih nicely wrapped in the plastic. Lepas tu ada 2 pulak buku yang sama tapi lain front cover design dia. Menyedihkan.
Aku ni pun sebenarnya tengah stuck jugak ni. Dah berapa jam layan YouTube dari lepas kerja tengok genre kesukaan diri sendiri. Hopefully it will not keep my mind running. Because it kinda did malam tadi, that I don't know what time I slept, dan kena bangun awal for something-something.
I'm just enjoying my processes. Maybe one day, or eventually, I can go into another genre. Tulis skrip cerita drama Melayu ke... But I think even WWM has a lot of visions in them.
Okaylah. Revisiting WWM Book 5 Chapter 1. Kalau tak boleh progress, terus masuk Chapter 2.
Kbai.
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