Khamis, 31 Mac 2011

Nadia Goes Malaya in the Millenium Turns 1

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Nadia Goes Malaya in the Millenium
31 March 2011: Turns 1 Year-Old 

Life is such irony. 

Today is the first anniversary of my blog.  I should be jumping happy right now for reaching a milestone.  But I'm jumping myself steady.  Making sure I don't trip and fall over.  Be cracked under pressure.  In all areas.  As I am to be numb today.

After 5 years 4 months 2 weeks, my nurturing boss will be leaving.  Since we have gone through changes so much, it feels like I'm cutting of a limb.  Not that we depend so much with each other.  It's more that we both know that we comfort each other by being present, without even saying it.  Days can suck.  I can only make it a bit better when I ask if she wants another mug of coffee. 

Overall, this would have been the hardest patch.  Too many things balled into one.  Happiness, comfort, disappointment, betrayal, laughter, security, back talk, silence, refusal, agreement, disagreement, move forward and hit that bloody figure on dot, on time. 

Perhaps many do not know what effort and heart was put into it.  Perhaps many do not realize how much heartache we have to face to build something better.  It is in us.  We face it everyday.  Like, loving your car.  Loving your job.  Loving your house.

But this is heartache. 

Putting all aside, we'll get through this day like an ordinary day.  Party will be held.  Food will be eaten.  Emotions will be felt.  Tears will fall.  Hugs will be thrown.  Pictures will be taken.  Then everyone and everything will return to where they were before.  In place.  Like it was untouched.  And pretend like nothing of it ever happened. 

Perhaps it is denial in my statements.  But it is truth of how we settle ourselves daily.

Because life goes on.  It doesn't stand still in one place.  It moves.  Only you choose to live in the moment or move forward or backward.  It is just like that.

So in such irony that today, this blog turns one. 

Happy birthday dear blog.  You helped me through my insanities.

And I know that I have grown.

I thank you.

Thanking friends in support of me.  Love you guys. 

[Oh I just feel like rolling over and cry]

[But I will not]

[I will just hide under the table for a while]

[You can pick up your documents yourself okay]  {randomly pointing to the trays in the front table}

{Slumping my body all over the room}

[I feel awful]

[But I still love you guys]

1 ulasan:

seldom break berkata...

owh.patutla awan mendung kelabu berarak sgt perlahan...hurmm..


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