Watikah hari ini adalah...
Esok hari raya. Aku berperasaan biasa-biasa saja. Some how.
Aku tau few of the people whom I know will not celebrate it as it should for one just delivered a stillborn baby at 39 weeks just yesterday and another old classmate, lost her husband about a week back. Her husband was on his way back home from outstation. They have 3 surviving children. Dan disebabkan aku yang berupa brutal dan sungguh tiada perasaan ini adalah sebenarnya, orang tak tau yang aku cepat sangat terusik therefore I must brutalise myself first so aku tak la terlalu terusik. Maybe all of this is affecting me la kut.
Takziah dan Al-Fatihah buat mereka.
I was also unwell these past 2 nights. But I pull myself to office yang tak berapa jauh sangat dari ofis. Just so I can rest. Sheer irony eh? Ye. So I got to do a bit of banking sebab lupa clear insurances. Then printing some things. Though I balik opis earlier than my boss, possibility to forgetting to print out menatang-menatang yang sepatutnya itu adalah tersangatlah tinggi. Betul kan? Ni dah kiranya you dah put note pun dalam buku nota tu. Ye lah. Sebab tau nanti boss balik opis pun lama lagi... Lepas tu. Padan muka sendiri.
This morning, sumai masukkan CD dalam kereta before he went off naik motor to work. Baik hati dia. It had a playlist of songs yang memang I suka. Then keluar satu lagu selepas lagu Yuna. Aku terdiam kejap. Teringat to the video. And kalau ikut term Lord Zara, meruntun jiwa. Teringat pada teman yang baru je kehilangan suaminya. Raya for her and her children will never be the same again.
So I post lagu Kaer di sini. Mengingatkan diri sendiri. Kita sayang pun, akhirnya akan berpisah.
Sending all my love, my thoughts, my remembrance. May you have a remarkable Eid Mubarak. May it give meaning more than any other years.
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf zahir dan batin.
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