Watikah hari ini adalah...
I had a long and hard time thinking about this one. Aku pun bukannya muda lagi. Nak kata tua sesangat pun, belum eligible lagi walau pun aku rasa jiwa aku adalah lebih tua dari laki aku yang muda forever itu. Tolak tepi yang aku selalu rasa aku ni sekian dan sekian dan sekian terhadap sekian dan sekian dan sekian. Pendek kata, my self-esteem is that much. Funny how you still feel sekian at this age.
Anyway, this is my list.
At the age of 34:
1. I shouldn't be having zits, still on my face. ...Because it's just so depressing.
2. I should be able to split some time for myself. ...But having time out at my convenience is not convenient for the others at my age and life stage.
3. I should own a computer/laptop at home. ...But none bikos there isn't any coverage at home so that really does defeat the purpose.
4. I should be having this large chest of shoes. ...But it isn't because my kaki is gemuk and it's hard for me to find variety.
5. I should be having this large chest of clothes. ...But it isn't because my badan fluctuates so much that it's hard for me to decide on getting myself something.
6. I should be able to control my weight. ...But the hormones seem to botched up at this age that no matter how little I eat, it'll be the same expansion plan.
7. I should be able to manage my hair properly. ...But they are getting more wavy then the fine, little and straight I was born with. So I don't know what to do with them except bun or plait them to get them in order.
8. I should be able to know my greatest potential by now. ...But I kinda lost it along the way.
So, in greeting the new year...
1. I want to read more books. I've learnt that I can leave without TV and able to miss my favourite shows and have no much feeling having to watch a quarter of one out of 16 episodes or so of the series.
2. I want to be able to spend at least one hour of my entire week, walking around the grounds to feel that I am worthy of a friend, to be sane, to remind myself of who I am, and be healthy - mind, soul and body.
3. I want to drink more water and less coffee. And I know that's so so so hard.
4. I want to settle all things about teeth. The older I get, the worse it gets.
5. I want to be able to travel, with my husband. Or with girlfriends.
6. I want to learn to let things go. It will be a bit hard though, because I remember things.
7. I want to learn to enjoy life a bit more. I should do less worrying.
Keeping the list short. That's a whole lot of things to do. With a little, it can do more. Much more when those little things does good for me. All this is for the best of me, and the ones I love, and the ones who loves me. I know I must keep myself healthy so I can take care of others.
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